Frustrations
by themiller
Summary: A collection of Chalant episodes that are basically being used to vent frustrations upon the writers of YJ. Rated T for strong language and suggestive themes.
1. Wait Before We Go Any Further

**A/N: Ok, so, this is Frustration. Why is it called that? Because as long as DC refuses to reignite the flame of Chalant, I will use this story to vent my frustrations about this in the form of drabbles and dramatic oneshots. If you ever have an idea that you just HAVE to tell me about, go ahead and put it in the reviews, because writer's block is a bitch, and it's always helpful when other people offer me a rope to get me out of a deep hole.**

**Enjoy!**

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_**Frustrations, Chapter 1: Wait... Before We Go Any Further...**  
_

_FUCK_, was the only thing running through her mind as he pounded into her…

Wait.

That came out wrong.

As he pounded his fist into her knee, which caused her to crumple to the ground barely rolling out-of-the-way of his attempted finishing strike, intended to, well, finish the job.

Here she was, getting her ass kicked, receiving blows that would bruise and ache and make her probably skip work tomorrow, and _still_, even after all this time, all she could think about was _that _when he was around.

Zatanna was just lucky that he didn't think about her like she did him.

Well, either that, or she was lucky that he had the self-discipline of the Dark Knight.

And deep down, she knew it was the latter.

But if she admitted that to herself, then she would pounce him.

Just like she did two weeks ago. And a month ago. And three months ago. And a year ago. And, and, and, and, AND.

These trysts were getting more and more frequent… if the trend continued, they were due tomorrow night.

As she swung her foot towards his face, she saw his eyes trace her legs with obvious hunger that maybe he thought she wouldn't see. Or maybe, just maybe, he hoped she would see it.

No. She had to stop.

Dick Grayson and Zatanna Zatara were just friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

_Bullshit._ Zatanna heard her dead best friend's haughty voice echo in her mind. Artemis had always said that Dick and Zatanna had fucked up when the broke it off. That they were stupid, and overprotective, and that they needed to get their heads out of their asses.

She just didn't say it quite so nicely.

God. Artemis.

Artemis was dead. And right. And DEAD.

Suddenly, she collapsed. The whites of Dick's domino mask widened in confusion and concern as she began to sob violently, her shoulders shaking with vigor. He knelt next to her, and as well as she knew him, and as well as he knew her, she knew that he knew what she was thinking about.

"Hey," he whispered. "Hey, it's going to be ok. We're all going to be ok. _You're _going to be ok. She-". He broke off midsentence, obviously having said something that he didn't want to.

But, in her, state of mind, she didn't notice.

Dick continued. "Zee," (her heart gave a guilty leap when he used his pet name for her),"I know that she was your best friend, and that this is just as hard on you as your father… But Artemis would rip your head off for doing this. For beating yourself up for it. For blaming yourself. For feeling guilty in any way, shape, or form."

And, for some reason, his words, "blaming yourself", they just set her off. What she said next wasn't something she believed. It had never even crossed her mind until that moment. But her shattered mind jumped to conclusions that she would never truly believe.

So, in less than a second, her head whipped up to his, and she started screaming. "YOU'RE EXACTLY RIGHT! This isn't _my _fault! I'm not the one who brought her out of retirement! I'm not the one who brought her up against Kaldur! I'm not the one who didn't stop that bastard from taking her life!"

As soon as the last word escaped her lips, before the sound had even faded away, her hands were at her mouth, and she was sobbing all over again.

"Oh, god, Dick… I'm… I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. I don't know what just happened. I know that there was nothing you could have done."

Luckily for Nightwing, Zatanna happened to be looking at the ground as he winced in guilt.

And, as Zatanna mourned her murdered friend, something inside her snapped. Screw the danger. Screw the risks. She turned toward the black-and-blue-clad superhero beside and pressed her lips to his.

He responded for half a second, then broke off. "Zee… What are we doing?"

She cast her eyes to the floor again. "Artemis dying… it made me realize that I need to live. To be happy. To _love_. I'm tired of pretending that we don't want each other, Dick. Please…"

She again moved towards him and pressed her hands to his face, then practically attacked his mouth with her own. Their lips began the elegant dance that the two had perfected over years of practice, and Grayson's hand brushed her side…

And then he pushed her away again.

Zatanna looked at him, confused.

And then she noticed the tears in his eyes.

"Zatanna… You know how I feel about you. And… I agree. I'm tired of this. Of pretending. Of secrets. But… I can't let _this _be the reason we realize this. Please. Just trust me, and believe that when _this _ends… I promise we will try again. But I can't let Artemis be the reason we reunite."

Her confusion had only grown. "Dick, you know Artemis wanted this. You KNOW she did. And you know that she would not be angry with us for doing this. Why wait?"

Dick eyes filled with pain… and something else. Something akin to guilt. To regret.

"Zatanna… I need to tell you something."

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**A/N: Ok so basically? R&R!**


	2. Talks

**A/N: Ok, this story took me waaaaaay longer than it should have, but I finally got around to writing it.**

**Takes place immediately after Season 2, Episode 8, "Satisfaction".**

**Enjoy!**

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Zatanna left her hand in the air for a few moments after Barbara disappeared around the corner, her crimson locks flying behind her.

As she turned around, she realized that one of the party goers was still there. Megan threw her a small smile, uncharacteristic for the usual happy-go-lucky Martian. Not that anyone could blame her. Artemis had just died, her boyfriend kidnapped, and Raquel's bridal shower had been interrupted by some ridiculous ice villain whose name Zatanna couldn't even be bothered to remember. The raven-haired magician softly approached her, sitting down beside her and placing an arm around her shoulders.

"Hey," she whispered softly. "You know it's going to be ok, right?"

M'gann shook her head softly. "Zee, I really don't think it is. And not because of Artemis. Not because of La'gann…." A single tear escaped the corner of her eye, dropped to the ground with a splash, leaving the imprint of sorrow and pain upon the pavement.

Zatanna sighed in the same sorrow as her green-haired friend. Though the magician wouldn't admit it to herself, she and Megan were suffering through the same pain.

"Megan… I know it may not seem like it, but Connor will come around. I just know it." she whispered softly, pretending that she hadn't thought the same thing about a certain shadow of the night, flying over rooftops like some sort of bird of prey, searching for victims and perpetrators alike, seeking to aid and to end.

Megan shook her head again, seeming to be resigned to sorrow. "You don't understand. He's so _angry_. And when I look into his eyes, I can see it. The anger, the pain, the sadness. And worst of all, I see the one thing that I had never seen when Connor had looked at me before. I saw fear, Zatanna…"

Zatanna had no idea what to say. She was intrigued, and worried, but she knew better than to press with Megan. It would only upset her more.

Luckily, the Martian continued on her own. "He's afraid of me, and I can't handle it. What do I do, Zatanna? What can I say to him? Can I get him to forgive me? Or should I wait for him to let it go? Will he stay mad forever? Are we not salvageable? Are we broken? Is he broken? Am I broken? Can—…"

Megan glanced over at the overwhelmed magician, realizing that she needed to slow down. "I-I'm sorry… You know what?" she asked, wiping her eyes, clearing of them of tears that had been pooling in them. "Enough about me. What about you and Nightwing?"

Zatanna flinched at the mention of her ex's name. "I'd really rather not talk about that, Megan…"

Megan allowed a small smile to creep through. "It kind of sounds like you need to, though… Ok, how 'bout this? I'll talk." The Martian seemed to take Zatanna's silence as a go ahead. "You love him. That's pretty obvious to me. But then, I can read minds. But I'm not the only one who noticed it. Your best friend noticed it, too. I remember when she used to badger you all the time about the Boy Wonder, how you two needed to get over this bull about risks and just go for it. I remember how she would never let up, always pushing just a little bit harder, a little bit longer. Mostly, I remember how badly she wanted the two of you to be together. And you know why? Because she realized the one thing you seem to be avoiding. That dolt makes you happy, and any reason you can come up with that is keeping you away from him is just you being a coward."

Zatanna's eyes widened at the bluntness of her friend's statement. She was rendered speechless, simply staring at the ground in amazement.

Megan stood up, shook her head a final time, then muttered, "Come find me when you get your head out of your ass."

Zatanna turned her head to watch her friend walk off in the direction of the cave.

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Zatanna halted her hand a moment before her fist knocked on the polished wood of the Bludhaven apartment door.

_What am I doing here? Dick and I have gone rounds about this before. I know exactly how this is going to end. He's going to convince me that the risk is too great, that I need to think logically._

She slowly lowered her hand, and then halted the movement again.

_Thinking logically has yet to bring me happiness._

Her resolve successfully mustered, she pounded her fist on the door, knowing exactly what she was going to say to the pig-headed superhero. That he was wrong. That he made her happy. That she made him happy. That she didn't care about risks. That Artemis had wanted this. That her father would have wanted this. That she couldn't stop thinking about him. That she couldn't stop thinking about the two of them together. That she wanted the two of them to be together more than she had ever wanted anything else in her life.

That being with him was worth the risk, the fear.

And then the door opened.

Dick's jet-black hair was slightly ruffled, as always. His cerulean eyes widened ever so slightly at her presence, a movement that none other than those who knew him best would have noticed. His muscled torso was clad in a plain white t-shirt, clinging tightly to a body that filled it completely. One arm sloped down, resting on the doorknob, while the other supported his weight on the door frame. His jeans were worn, looking to be on their last threads. The dirty sneakers covering his feet completed the picture in a strangely perfect way, somehow complimenting the rest of his completely normal look.

"Zatanna, what are y-"

She didn't even wait for him to finish the sentence. The magician practically leapt at him, her arms automatically filling the familiar position around his neck, her hands sliding into his locks as if they belonged there. And suddenly, her lips were on his, and everything was right in the world. It had been so long—too long—since they had done this last. Their lips moved perfectly in sync, so practiced in the giving and taking of pleasure that it seemed they had never broken the relationship off.

And suddenly, he broke the kiss off, his face obviously pleased but extremely bewildered. "Zee, what's going on? What was that all about?"

Immediately, she dropped her arms from his neck to her sides, strangely shy and sheepish, despite having just made such a bold move. Her eyes lowered to the ground, almost embarrassed. Her mouth opened slightly, closed again, and then opened to deliver the message she had wanted him to hear ever since they had broken up.

"I talked with Megan yesterday. It wasn't a long talk, but it opened my eyes to truths that I had been denying for far too long. Because the truth is, Dick, I love you. No amount of danger or risk or anything is going to change that. I love you, I want to be with you, and I need you to accept that. Even Artemis could see how we were meant for each other, how much we both want this. She never stopped trying to convince me to get back together with you, as if the world were going to end if we didn't get-. She always said to me, 'Zatanna, listen. You may think that you're happy, but everyone and their brother can take one look in your eyes and see that something's missing. So stop being so freaking bull-headed and go kiss the living hell out of that idiot my boyfriend calls a best friend.' And it took her dying and Megan basically yelling at me for me to realize that she was right. My dad, the overprotective nut that he wa-… _is_, told me, the day after you and I met, 'Princess, of all the men in the world you could have chosen to pursue, you managed to pick the one I don't have the ability to threaten into obedience. Perhaps that means something.' And maybe it does, maybe it doesn't, but all I know is th—"

Suddenly he returned the favor she had paid him earlier, telling her to shut up in the most absolutely wonderful way possible. Once again, they fell into motions that looked and felt natural.

Finally when the both of them were in severe need of oxygen, they separated, sucking in air loudly. Dick cast his eyes to the ground, shook his head ever so slightly, then let out a breathy laugh. "You know what, Zee? I agree."

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**A/N: First, sorry for the wait in the stories. Second, sorry for the OOCness found here. Third, sorry again for the wait!**

**Please, sate my hunger and review!**


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